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Sunday, 19 June 2011

my own smile.

As for today i am writing to you about my own smile, because i have notice something about this, that i want to share which could be interesting to you.

Usually when i smile and my smile tends to lean more or is more expressive on my left side of my face, with this i mean, the smile happens more on my left face side.
I was looking at this in the mirror and i noticed a peculiar thing. That when i try to make my smile form on my right face side, i don't have the feeling i get when i smile as i usually smile when the smile forms on my left face side. And i wonder why is that, how could it be that a simple face expression can have an impact on how i feel inside.
If i smile on my right face side, it feels like i am deceiving myself in pretending that i am feeling happy when i am smiling, meaning; that my smile is false and it feels false to. It feels like i am fabricating this smile, it is not a real smile, just because of me not using the face that forms my smile as usual, which is my left face smile.

So, the question is how come i am allowing myself to feel a certain way just through having a facial expression that is not what is of usual usage.....???  All this is related to how i perceive myself to be, as how i perceive and accept myself to see myself doing something, which in this case is something as simple as a smile.

Self-forgiveness on this point:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let myself feel happy because of me having a smile.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to relate happiness to a facial expression, as my left side smile.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and let myself believe that in using my other side and forming a smile on that side will make me feel as if i am deceiving myself in not using the smile that is my usual smile and so i am then not happy.

I realize that i am accepting and allowing myself to be influenced emotionally through a simple act of face recognition as my smile forming on my left side.
I realize that by using the other side of my face to form a smile i feel like i deceive myself, that i am not being truthful with my own smile.
I realize that when using the other side of my face to smile i become cold and harsh and serious inside.

Self-corrective statements:

When i smile i smile and my smile is me, i breath in my moment of smile and let misconception and emotional charges go.
I do not accept and allow myself to judge my own smile and give my power away to the feeling i get when i smile, but instead i smile as me as the breath and be here in every moment of me as the smile, so that my smile has no relation to anything but is just a smile as a smile as natural is it is.


Larry Manuela

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Some facts to proof that prayer doesn't work.

I am writing this to you today to show you, and with this ''you'' i am referring to is the you that is religious and believe that your prayer, your hours of meditation are really working.

First of all i am going to share a few links to explain to you what i am saying so you can see for yourself.
I know you are going to say, that you can't trust these numbers etc etc, and look for some many excuses, just for you to save your own ass, that is probably not on fire as for

There are at least at this moment 7 Billion, 121 Million , 525 Thousand, 634 at the moment i am writing this blog people in this world and this information i take form the link i am going to share here with you:

So we can roughly say that there are of right now more than 7 Billion people on this planet.

Now i am going to move to just show you how many of those people are religious and i am going to put just the numbers of the four bigger ones.

Amount of Christians: 2 Billions, 39 Millions in this world.
Amount of Muslims:    1 Billion,  570 Million in this world.
Amount of  Hindus:     950 Million in this world.
Amount of Buddhists:   between 250 million and 1.6 Billion,because of no consensus on the numbers of Buddhists in this world, so i will take the 250 Million.

Here is the link where i got this from:

And now i am going to move to how many people are living in poverty in this world.

There are half of the world population over 3 Billion living on less than $ 2,50 a day.
And there are 80 % of humanity living on less then $ 10 Dollars a day.

Here is the link where i got this information from:

So now to our topic.
As you can see that covering only the 4 major religions in this world we are almost reaching with these 4 alone the amount of people living on this planet.
This means that the people who are living in poverty and extreme poverty and allot of other sufferings and starvation, they will certainly be either: a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, or a Buddhist.

Now all of them these 4 religions are pretending and insisting that there is a higher being or source of sorts that are listening to their prayers or that are guiding them in their meditation and the rest of the none sense.
So if that was really so, how come the most of you are then in poverty and suffering....???  And i just showed you the facts.
People lets get serious and stop this system we have created together and put one in place that is truly valuing life for what it is and not abusing it. If prayers did work none of you would be in poverty and enslave to a system of abuse.
And understand when i say ''you'' i mean the group in the facts mention above.
Lets work to a world where none is in poverty, and this can only happen in an equal money system.
Join us at:


Larry Manuela


Tuesday, 7 June 2011

A look within

Now yesterday i was looking at my own body behaviors and i find out an interesting thing.

I have been noticing for some time now that when i am in bed i always play with my dick.
Now there is no thoughts of sex or whatever, it just happen, i just paly with it, and it is not masturbating or something in that matter, just playing with it, put it to lean on the left, then to lean on the right, and rub it's body, but with no sexual intention, but my dick do get hard, and more often then not, i will end up jerking off the fucker anyways.

So now why do i do that...??
Is it an old programming that is deep within me, that everytime i am alone and i am in my bed my hand just happen to start moving down there where my hand and my dick will have a chat so to speak and my dick always end up And it seems that my dick love my right hand the most, it seems to ignore the left, there is a competition going on here between the right and the left hand. But in all this funny story here, where am i....???

It is me, or that which i call me that is accepting and allowing this to happen, and most of the time i will be using some pornography to let the right hand do it's thing.

As for today this will be done, i will not accept and allow myself to jerk of using pornography nor have pictures and thoughts of having sex with woman anymore.
I am the directive principle in this matter, and it is only i who can stop me from acting in ways that is unacceptable and that are not for what is best for all, it is selfish and also i keep on supporting the very thoughts and manifestations of woman being abused for their sexual expressions within this world, within this existence.

So if you are one just like me who is also into jerking off all the time, please give yourself a hand and come and let us walk the path together and support each other in stopping ourselves in the mids of the abuses we accept and allow within and without us.

Do the desteni i process, and participate on the desteni forum we will asisst you and support you, because most of us have already gone and is going through all what you may believe you're alone going through.

here are the links.....:


Larry Manuela

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

why are people so mean.??

As for a few moment ago i was talking to my ex, and i was telling her that i just received a phone call from my work agency, and the woman is telling me that for next week she has only one(1) day for me of work.

Now my ex. goes and tells me: '' yep, it is your own fault, you decided to go and live all the way there in Breda so....''

With this she is implying that i should have staid in Amsterdam so i can have a better chance to find a better job, and let me remind those of you who doesn't know about this ex. of mine, that this is the same woman who cheated on me talking, so what she is basically saying is; that i should be much closer to her an the children and for me to get a better job, because in Amsterdam the opportunities are better. In a sense it is true, that in Amsterdam there is a better chance for me to have a get stable job, but the thing is i don't know anybody else in this city that i am really ''good'' with so i can stay for a while till i get a job and get an apparment for rent. And she is only looking for her best interest, because if i find a better job then she can have more money from me and more often, that is the real reason she is saying all this stuff. So i can help her much more with her survival. She wants me to be close and also wants me to have a better job, a steady job so i can give her more money, and this is someone who is living off social government money, what they call: ''uitkering'' in this country.

She has allot of money problem and is always looking for ways to find someone or something where things can run easy for her.
But to say, let me go and start working on my own, earn my own money, for that she will seek all kinds of excuses for not doing that. And i am just doing what i can to help her, as for right now, i am myself in financial difficulty and have my own things to pay and if i don't  you are immediately a threat to the system and they will treat you as if you are a criminal, sending agencies who are money collectors after you, and if you have a job you are fucked because if they can't get things from you, they will mke sure they get the money from your salary.
The less money i get and the less working hours i make, the less salary i will have and the more problem i wil have because then i can't cope with all the bills i need to pay, because i have shortage of money.

She is thinking and believing that because i have work everything is alright with me, but it is not, i can't even buy new stuff, like shoes and clothing i am just taking good care of those i already have, bcause i just can't afford these things. So i just tend to live as simple as possible so i won't spent unneccesary amount of money buying stuff and for later on finding myself in more financial problems and can't get out. I already in a situation that is difficult to get out.

And the work i have for right now is not something steady, it is just for the high-season. when the high season is over all of us working via the agency will be send home, and there i will be again in the same position as before because then i will be receiving less money, i will fall back. Within all this the things that i agreed upon to pay such and such amount per month will not be possible anymore, and then these people will get angry and mean and start putting pressure on you and will do whatever to make sure you keep on paying the same amount that we agreed upon, which in that moment will be impossible. they don't care if you have fallen back in salary, they want the money they agree to get from you still coming the same every month.

These things are making me tired sometimes, because there is no way out for me either, it is not like i am getting any younger and the people that are being hired right now are people wih higher educations and young people, because they can pay the young people much less money.

Now due to my CV is full of different things i did in the past when it comes to jobs i have done, in the old days when someone could do allot of things it was considered a ''good'' thing, that you are diversive, but now it is considered and seen as if you can't hold to one job, so you keep on going and changing from performing one job  to the next and so they see you as not to be trusted, because you can leave them anytime. But even when you do explain to them that it was circumstances that made you had to learn and do other jobs,they would still not trust you, so they keep on saying no to you. Because it is the same circumstances that i am in today that made me in those times to go and study something else in order for me to get a job, because i was not geting anywhere and getting no job with what i have studied so i ahd to do that, and in those days things were better, you still could find a company that will pay the courses and stuff for you and all you hav to do is pass the courses and work for them. and the working for them was not mandatory.

To tell you something, i can't wait for the system to crash on all of us, because when it is crashing like this; first for a few and only that few are going through some difficult time, those who have their steady jobs, they just won't stand with you and say no to the system and stand as one and equal to stop and come up with a new system, because their lives are all o.k. they have no reason the reject the system, all is fine....meanwhile you are going through allot of shit and have to struggle and everyone of those people who have their steady jobs are thinking that it can't be true that you can't find a job, because they are not themselves into the situation, that is why. So there must be at least one job that you can find, and when you do find a job it is for a short period of time, then you are again in the same position and, some are saying then you must see if you can learn something else and maybe make your possibilities in the system much greater for you to find a new job and a steady one, but they are forgetting that to learn anything in this country you need money, and the things that the government are paying for people to study, they are only granting them to people who have been without work for more then 1 year, so you won't fall in that category either, so all in all it is a real mess.

Now i am not saying and wishing for the system to crash, because of me going through shit financially but more so for people to start waking up to the fact that things are not o.k. and the system doesn't give a fuck about your life really, it looks like that when you have a job, but as soon as you are out of a job it is a mean system, that wil abuse you to the utmost, just because you haven't got a job and not that you don't want to, but that the system itself can't produce one for you. And that is why i want the system to crash on all of us so we can all experience first hand in fact what others like us are going through when you don't have enough money but yet still need money to survive in this shitty system. A system that is totally abusive to all, even to those who work,but they don't see that either.


Larry Manuela

about marriage

Today i was talking to a woman from India on facebook, she is one of my friends on facebook.

We were talking and she asked me if i was married, because she could see me and my two children on the pictures and i told her that i am not married, and that me and the mother of my children are no more with each other.

Then she asked if i am alone now, and if i am hoping to get married, i said; 'well yes i am alone now and i am not going to get married,' because it is just a contract that is rooted in: ''money''

If you take a look at India, you find that there this marriage thing is very important to them, it is like if you are not married something is wrong with you, they see it as something very sacred.

And most of the girls in India are being given(sold) to marriage to a man.,and the man must buy allot of stuff to get the girl, it is like he is buying the girl, like an exchange between the parents of both the man and the girl, and eventually one can say the girl is being bought to serve the man.

This bullshit i will never accept, because woman are to me my equals not a prize that i can pay for, to have sex and make babies and let her do household work.

I will say that people in India and allot of Arabic countries are going to have a great problem with this marriage thing, and also in a few African and European Countries, and most of them it is because of the believes that they are following that have set those rules for them and they abide by those rules without never questioning anything.

How are you going to treat the woman as equal if you have just bought her through all the gifts and stuff you had to give in order for her to be your wife...???  Most of the time the girl has got no saying at all in all the none sense, it is the parents who are deciding from both sides, from the man and from the girl, but for the man if the girl is nice, and by nice i mean, and i will put it brutally honest here; 'if the girl  is somehow a nice peace to fuck,' he won't have much problems with the whole thing, but for the girl it is a different story.

So all in all this stupid tradition of parents giving their offsprings for marriage has to stop exsisting because it is not supporting life at all, it is supporting abuse.
And the parents love the whole thing because they will have allot of presents during the whole bullshit.
 It is the greatest pimpwork ever..!!!  Pimping your own daughter, what a mess, and calling it sacred.


Larry Manuela