As for a few moment ago i was talking to my ex, and i was telling her that i just received a phone call from my work agency, and the woman is telling me that for next week she has only one(1) day for me of work.
Now my ex. goes and tells me: '' yep, it is your own fault, you decided to go and live all the way there in Breda so....''
With this she is implying that i should have staid in Amsterdam so i can have a better chance to find a better job, and let me remind those of you who doesn't know about this ex. of mine, that this is the same woman who cheated on me talking, so what she is basically saying is; that i should be much closer to her an the children and for me to get a better job, because in Amsterdam the opportunities are better. In a sense it is true, that in Amsterdam there is a better chance for me to have a get stable job, but the thing is i don't know anybody else in this city that i am really ''good'' with so i can stay for a while till i get a job and get an apparment for rent. And she is only looking for her best interest, because if i find a better job then she can have more money from me and more often, that is the real reason she is saying all this stuff. So i can help her much more with her survival. She wants me to be close and also wants me to have a better job, a steady job so i can give her more money, and this is someone who is living off social government money, what they call: ''uitkering'' in this country.
She has allot of money problem and is always looking for ways to find someone or something where things can run easy for her.
But to say, let me go and start working on my own, earn my own money, for that she will seek all kinds of excuses for not doing that. And i am just doing what i can to help her, as for right now, i am myself in financial difficulty and have my own things to pay and if i don't you are immediately a threat to the system and they will treat you as if you are a criminal, sending agencies who are money collectors after you, and if you have a job you are fucked because if they can't get things from you, they will mke sure they get the money from your salary.
The less money i get and the less working hours i make, the less salary i will have and the more problem i wil have because then i can't cope with all the bills i need to pay, because i have shortage of money.
She is thinking and believing that because i have work everything is alright with me, but it is not, i can't even buy new stuff, like shoes and clothing i am just taking good care of those i already have, bcause i just can't afford these things. So i just tend to live as simple as possible so i won't spent unneccesary amount of money buying stuff and for later on finding myself in more financial problems and can't get out. I already in a situation that is difficult to get out.
And the work i have for right now is not something steady, it is just for the high-season. when the high season is over all of us working via the agency will be send home, and there i will be again in the same position as before because then i will be receiving less money, i will fall back. Within all this the things that i agreed upon to pay such and such amount per month will not be possible anymore, and then these people will get angry and mean and start putting pressure on you and will do whatever to make sure you keep on paying the same amount that we agreed upon, which in that moment will be impossible. they don't care if you have fallen back in salary, they want the money they agree to get from you still coming the same every month.
These things are making me tired sometimes, because there is no way out for me either, it is not like i am getting any younger and the people that are being hired right now are people wih higher educations and young people, because they can pay the young people much less money.
Now due to my CV is full of different things i did in the past when it comes to jobs i have done, in the old days when someone could do allot of things it was considered a ''good'' thing, that you are diversive, but now it is considered and seen as if you can't hold to one job, so you keep on going and changing from performing one job to the next and so they see you as not to be trusted, because you can leave them anytime. But even when you do explain to them that it was circumstances that made you had to learn and do other jobs,they would still not trust you, so they keep on saying no to you. Because it is the same circumstances that i am in today that made me in those times to go and study something else in order for me to get a job, because i was not geting anywhere and getting no job with what i have studied so i ahd to do that, and in those days things were better, you still could find a company that will pay the courses and stuff for you and all you hav to do is pass the courses and work for them. and the working for them was not mandatory.
To tell you something, i can't wait for the system to crash on all of us, because when it is crashing like this; first for a few and only that few are going through some difficult time, those who have their steady jobs, they just won't stand with you and say no to the system and stand as one and equal to stop and come up with a new system, because their lives are all o.k. they have no reason the reject the system, all is fine....meanwhile you are going through allot of shit and have to struggle and everyone of those people who have their steady jobs are thinking that it can't be true that you can't find a job, because they are not themselves into the situation, that is why. So there must be at least one job that you can find, and when you do find a job it is for a short period of time, then you are again in the same position and, some are saying then you must see if you can learn something else and maybe make your possibilities in the system much greater for you to find a new job and a steady one, but they are forgetting that to learn anything in this country you need money, and the things that the government are paying for people to study, they are only granting them to people who have been without work for more then 1 year, so you won't fall in that category either, so all in all it is a real mess.
Now i am not saying and wishing for the system to crash, because of me going through shit financially but more so for people to start waking up to the fact that things are not o.k. and the system doesn't give a fuck about your life really, it looks like that when you have a job, but as soon as you are out of a job it is a mean system, that wil abuse you to the utmost, just because you haven't got a job and not that you don't want to, but that the system itself can't produce one for you. And that is why i want the system to crash on all of us so we can all experience first hand in fact what others like us are going through when you don't have enough money but yet still need money to survive in this shitty system. A system that is totally abusive to all, even to those who work,but they don't see that either.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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