I was talking to a friend of mine today and she was telling me about her daughter being sick and we were having a conversation about the doctors having more eyes on the budged they have to keep, because of the goverment cutting on everything, even when you do have a medical insurance, but it is still how much will it really cover when things do get really ''bad''.
But from there the conversation went on and we found ourselves talking about ''specialness''
Now i was saying to her that, if we keep on choosing people in our lives to be the special one's, everything as what you see in this world today will be continuing and will come to an end where total annihilation is the outcome, because more and more the one who is special is becoming fewer and fewer.
And suddenly it will only be you who is special and then you are going to be in war with all the others whom also consider themselves as specials........we can't all be specials here.
Lets look at all these nice special stuff we love so much.
Our countries
Our languages
Our cultures
Our traditons
Our believes
Our partners
Oor families
Our degrees
Our laws
Our rules
Our possessions
Our regulations
Our money
Our intelligence............and so on and on.....
And so we can go on and mention more, the point i am making here is that all of that has brought us right here where we are in this world today. We all wanted to have those things to be special, and what is the purpose of something being special...?? So you can feel better then others.
Specialness will always lean on the border of exclusivity and exclusivity is very limited, in the context of what life is, because life is inclusivity, all inclusive, nothing left out..!!
By the very act of having someone or something in your life and to give that a value of being a special someone or something, you have in that very act disregarded life completely, you have than stateted that only some parts of life should have some value for you, and the value you choose to give it.
If i love my children above all children in this world, the so-called love i have for my children is a love of exclusivity and will be a love that is limited, so in that regard will disregard the rest of the children in this world, because they are not in my inclusion of being special children to me.
So specialness is pure greed, and selfishness.
I wonder what will happen if life decided to choose some factions of itself as special...???
Would those whom are not special still exist then...??
Furtunately life does not choose to be life, life is just life it is what it is and nothing more or less.
This life debate and life-awareness will someday come to be our real expression, our children will live this life-awareness, and i am certaintly making sure that, that would be a possibility for them.
Because in this life-awareness, you live life as life itself, you are expressing that which you are for real, with everything else that is also life as you are, the forms may differ, but life as the manifested forms is and will always be the same.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
Saturday 28 May 2011
Friday 20 May 2011
common sense
I am going to give you as myself as simple as possible an explanation to what common sense is.
I will put it in the context of, bringing it here and use our senses to do so.
We have our eyes to see with
We have our ears to hear with
We have our skin to feel, that which we call; touch
We have our mouth with which we taste with.
We have our nose with which we smell.
Now i am going to leave the sixth sense out because this is about intuition, and will leave this one out and just give a rough explanation and try to be as simple as possible.
Now to break it down using the 5 senses that we all share equally as a physical being, we can now see that we all have this in common, there are some people, very few who can't see, or can't hear, or can't taste in one way or another one of these senses are damaged either from birth or through accident. And because of this being a very minor minority in the bigger picture but still lets keep on with the anology of our 5 senses in order to bring some simple clarification upon that which we at desteni call: ''common sense''
So let we start with our first sense we mentioned above which is: the act of seeing.
Now each individual regardless of their race, gender, culture, beliefs and superstitions, political preferences, geographical placement, and so and on all and each one of them have the eyes to see what is going on in this world, what is going on also in their immediate sorroundings.
So the act of seeing is common to all individual, none can say, i cannot see this or that.
You can see the poverty in this world, you can see the wars in this world, you can see everything that is going on, that is to see with your eyes, so all with eyes can see. So within this all know what is going on, on a visible level, you cannot deny it, and this is the same for all.
And within all this you don't have to directly be there to see, today we have many ways to see or to make facts visible.
Then we move to our second sense that we mentioned, which is the act of hearing.
Now within this act of hearing almost the same as above applies using the example of that of seeing.
You can hear through the news, through talks and many different ways,music and so on, and sounds of nature and also the cries of what is here, what is going on, there is no denying what you hear, the act of hearing is the same for all individual, the act of outside sounds being interpret through your ears is common to all of us, so all who can hear is capable to hear the same, and with this i mean the act of hearing itself.
Then we go to our third sense mentioned which is the act of touch.
Now within this the same as our two explanations applies, all can feel the touch of many different things on their body or through their bodies, so that the experience of touch is real to our human physical body. All know the pain of the physical body, because all has been in some way or another through some physical pain, so we all know using pain as an example, what pain is, because thanks to our sense of touch.
Then we go to our fourth sense and this is the sense of taste.
One more time same as the above explanations applies only a little bit different as is the experience within the application of the sense, that in this case is: taste.
Now we all know and this is very basic what i am about to say here, but we taste what is: sour, sweet/salty and bitter. Now all these, every one indivudual is able to do the same, we are equal within our abilities to taste things we eat.
then we move to our last sense which the sense of smell.
We all can tell the difference between something that smells what we consider pleasurable and things we do not consider as pleasurable. But to engage within both pleasurable or not, is an act that is common to all of us, we can all smell things.
Now what i am trying to bring down easy for you here in order to explain in easy terms what we mean with common sense is that we bring all that is common to everyone and act in order for us to understand and see what the subject or object intails in fact, what we all can sense the same. and within this we have a mathematical equation we use that we call the equation of accumulation, and this is 1+1=2.
so within this accumulation equation we can test if we are acting in common sense or not, and our actions are that of which is best for all or not, because we just keep on adding and adding everyone and everything in the equation, so each one in the equation has the same value and worth.
The difficult part about this common sense for some to grasp is when we apply it to things that are not so easy and physically sensable.
Let me take an example: let's say the government decided to built a road that goes through criss-cross to some land with allot of trees, and these trees are home for allot of animals and birds, and also give fruits to them. Now some of the trees are now so big that they're roots are starting to damage the road, and because of this the government now decides that they are going to cut down and remove all those trees, and meanwhile there was another way for them to built that road, where they didn't have to go building their road in the middle, criss-crosing all those trees. So now the government because of their dicision taken to bring down the trees, have in that single act take away; the home of many animals and also food for many animals. So this road was built without using common sense, the government didn't gave any thoughts whatsoever on the inhabitants of this forest of trees and built a road only for their best interest.They valued their lives more then that of the trees and the animals.
Let me give another example.
I am walking down the streets and i encounter a drug addict and he asks me for some money, and he is telling me that he needs the money because he needs some money to eat, he is hungry.
So you, because of already knowing that he just want the money to get high, you tell him o.k. if you are hungry i will go with you buy you some food and then all is well for at least this day. He agree with you and then after you have bought some food for him, he decides that he want to ask you now for some more money because he needs some more money to buy some food for later, and after that you decide you give him the money anyways and, the way he goes..
Now you may feel like you did something good here, but the reality is that you have accepted and allowed this fellow human being to stay within his abusive act towards his own body and also accepted and allowed lies to be told towards yourself. Now what is the common sense to this story..??
The common sense to this story is that you know that the life this individual is living is not what is best for himself, and the obvious action would not to give him money to abuse his body and also not support him with money to buy food, because otherwise he will never get to a point where he will have to face his own shit he puts himself in, because if you and other people support him with his addiction he won't realize what he is doing and also will not get out of it that easy, so your support of feeeling sorry for him and giving him food only strengthen his abusive behavior towards himself and can even cause him to abuse others just because he can't get what he needs. He will never get to the point where he will face his consequences in fact, because you are making his addiction still livable.
So as we can see, common sense apply is some living application in our everyday living can sometimes be difficult to see.
It is something where we can directly see in a immediate situation that it is acceptable or not, within the context of what is best for all, because someone can find something to be acceptable or not in the context of their believes but this doesn't necessarily mean that, that is what is best for all. You place yourself in the situation and see if you would be able to live like that, go through that and be self-honest about it.
Let me give a last example.
Let's say you are in the classroom and the teacher is busy explaining a subject and suddenly within the explanation that the teacher is giving, you realize something and you ask a question, but now that you have asked your question you hear the teacher telling you that your question is in conflict with the subject and that you are questioning the very subject itself and the subject as it is being given is the correct one. So now within this example the common sense is, that you are not allowed to question a particular subject itself only if the question was directed to a particular lesson within the subject but not the subject itself in it's entirety. So within this example the common sense is that what is define as learning is not really so, because in learning one must have questions and allot in order to learn something and if one is not allowed to question the very materials or subjects given at school then that school and teachers and whomever is calling the shots are not really interesting in you becoming an individual who can think critically and sort things out and come-up with the best possible outcome for a best solution, and if you cannot bring best possible solutions to problems then problems in this world will never be solved, because you are tought to only accept and don't question anything.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
I will put it in the context of, bringing it here and use our senses to do so.
We have our eyes to see with
We have our ears to hear with
We have our skin to feel, that which we call; touch
We have our mouth with which we taste with.
We have our nose with which we smell.
Now i am going to leave the sixth sense out because this is about intuition, and will leave this one out and just give a rough explanation and try to be as simple as possible.
Now to break it down using the 5 senses that we all share equally as a physical being, we can now see that we all have this in common, there are some people, very few who can't see, or can't hear, or can't taste in one way or another one of these senses are damaged either from birth or through accident. And because of this being a very minor minority in the bigger picture but still lets keep on with the anology of our 5 senses in order to bring some simple clarification upon that which we at desteni call: ''common sense''
So let we start with our first sense we mentioned above which is: the act of seeing.
Now each individual regardless of their race, gender, culture, beliefs and superstitions, political preferences, geographical placement, and so and on all and each one of them have the eyes to see what is going on in this world, what is going on also in their immediate sorroundings.
So the act of seeing is common to all individual, none can say, i cannot see this or that.
You can see the poverty in this world, you can see the wars in this world, you can see everything that is going on, that is to see with your eyes, so all with eyes can see. So within this all know what is going on, on a visible level, you cannot deny it, and this is the same for all.
And within all this you don't have to directly be there to see, today we have many ways to see or to make facts visible.
Then we move to our second sense that we mentioned, which is the act of hearing.
Now within this act of hearing almost the same as above applies using the example of that of seeing.
You can hear through the news, through talks and many different ways,music and so on, and sounds of nature and also the cries of what is here, what is going on, there is no denying what you hear, the act of hearing is the same for all individual, the act of outside sounds being interpret through your ears is common to all of us, so all who can hear is capable to hear the same, and with this i mean the act of hearing itself.
Then we go to our third sense mentioned which is the act of touch.
Now within this the same as our two explanations applies, all can feel the touch of many different things on their body or through their bodies, so that the experience of touch is real to our human physical body. All know the pain of the physical body, because all has been in some way or another through some physical pain, so we all know using pain as an example, what pain is, because thanks to our sense of touch.
Then we go to our fourth sense and this is the sense of taste.
One more time same as the above explanations applies only a little bit different as is the experience within the application of the sense, that in this case is: taste.
Now we all know and this is very basic what i am about to say here, but we taste what is: sour, sweet/salty and bitter. Now all these, every one indivudual is able to do the same, we are equal within our abilities to taste things we eat.
then we move to our last sense which the sense of smell.
We all can tell the difference between something that smells what we consider pleasurable and things we do not consider as pleasurable. But to engage within both pleasurable or not, is an act that is common to all of us, we can all smell things.
Now what i am trying to bring down easy for you here in order to explain in easy terms what we mean with common sense is that we bring all that is common to everyone and act in order for us to understand and see what the subject or object intails in fact, what we all can sense the same. and within this we have a mathematical equation we use that we call the equation of accumulation, and this is 1+1=2.
so within this accumulation equation we can test if we are acting in common sense or not, and our actions are that of which is best for all or not, because we just keep on adding and adding everyone and everything in the equation, so each one in the equation has the same value and worth.
The difficult part about this common sense for some to grasp is when we apply it to things that are not so easy and physically sensable.
Let me take an example: let's say the government decided to built a road that goes through criss-cross to some land with allot of trees, and these trees are home for allot of animals and birds, and also give fruits to them. Now some of the trees are now so big that they're roots are starting to damage the road, and because of this the government now decides that they are going to cut down and remove all those trees, and meanwhile there was another way for them to built that road, where they didn't have to go building their road in the middle, criss-crosing all those trees. So now the government because of their dicision taken to bring down the trees, have in that single act take away; the home of many animals and also food for many animals. So this road was built without using common sense, the government didn't gave any thoughts whatsoever on the inhabitants of this forest of trees and built a road only for their best interest.They valued their lives more then that of the trees and the animals.
Let me give another example.
I am walking down the streets and i encounter a drug addict and he asks me for some money, and he is telling me that he needs the money because he needs some money to eat, he is hungry.
So you, because of already knowing that he just want the money to get high, you tell him o.k. if you are hungry i will go with you buy you some food and then all is well for at least this day. He agree with you and then after you have bought some food for him, he decides that he want to ask you now for some more money because he needs some more money to buy some food for later, and after that you decide you give him the money anyways and, the way he goes..
Now you may feel like you did something good here, but the reality is that you have accepted and allowed this fellow human being to stay within his abusive act towards his own body and also accepted and allowed lies to be told towards yourself. Now what is the common sense to this story..??
The common sense to this story is that you know that the life this individual is living is not what is best for himself, and the obvious action would not to give him money to abuse his body and also not support him with money to buy food, because otherwise he will never get to a point where he will have to face his own shit he puts himself in, because if you and other people support him with his addiction he won't realize what he is doing and also will not get out of it that easy, so your support of feeeling sorry for him and giving him food only strengthen his abusive behavior towards himself and can even cause him to abuse others just because he can't get what he needs. He will never get to the point where he will face his consequences in fact, because you are making his addiction still livable.
So as we can see, common sense apply is some living application in our everyday living can sometimes be difficult to see.
It is something where we can directly see in a immediate situation that it is acceptable or not, within the context of what is best for all, because someone can find something to be acceptable or not in the context of their believes but this doesn't necessarily mean that, that is what is best for all. You place yourself in the situation and see if you would be able to live like that, go through that and be self-honest about it.
Let me give a last example.
Let's say you are in the classroom and the teacher is busy explaining a subject and suddenly within the explanation that the teacher is giving, you realize something and you ask a question, but now that you have asked your question you hear the teacher telling you that your question is in conflict with the subject and that you are questioning the very subject itself and the subject as it is being given is the correct one. So now within this example the common sense is, that you are not allowed to question a particular subject itself only if the question was directed to a particular lesson within the subject but not the subject itself in it's entirety. So within this example the common sense is that what is define as learning is not really so, because in learning one must have questions and allot in order to learn something and if one is not allowed to question the very materials or subjects given at school then that school and teachers and whomever is calling the shots are not really interesting in you becoming an individual who can think critically and sort things out and come-up with the best possible outcome for a best solution, and if you cannot bring best possible solutions to problems then problems in this world will never be solved, because you are tought to only accept and don't question anything.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
Sunday 15 May 2011
Self-honesty versus Honesty
Self-honesty & honesty.
Self-honesty is when you can see directly in this world towards yourself and others what those things are that you will accept and allow and what those things are that you will not accept and allow in your world nor the world of others as you, so in doing this, taking your self-responsibility towards yourself and others within the principle of what is best for all, because what is best for all is also best for you.
Honesty would be to see and look at things that are acceptable and unacceptable, allowed or not allowed within the confines of your immediate environment, your culture, your family, your friends, your culture, your religion, your needs, your desires, all shaped in a form of you fitting in and adhering to the ‘’norms’’ of those that has gone before you. It is honesty based on what the system dictates to put it more shortly.
Let me give some examples of self-honesty.
· There is war going on in this world, all over the place, and we all do not want war to happen to us, nor the one’s we so-called love, so what we do is we do not participate nor support war in no ways whatsoever, instead we expose the atrocities of this abuse.
· There is poverty in this world, and we don’t want that to happen to us nor to our family, so we do the same thing we expose them and do whatever is necessary to be done in order to STOP this poverty in this world, without using any violence.
· There is immense separation in this world due to religion, spirituality, politics, geographical placement, identity, culture, language, economy, and so on and on…….
Now I can continue making this list allot longer.
The fact of the matter is that, these things are all the things that we all can see immediately in common sense that we will not accept them in our lives, these are the things we see directly, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see them. So when you see these things and you act accordingly within the principle of what is best for all, you are then being self-honest.
Some point as in honesty.
· There is war, you do not want war, but if there is war, you will kill another to defend your country, your family, your religion, your culture, your neighborhood, you name it……..because within the system of this world it is o.k. when the war is fought protecting your own family or your country or whatever.
· There are people starving in this world and you know you don’t want this for yourself nor for your family nor for your fellow countrymen, and will do anything to protect them so they don’t have to go through this, but yet will not do anything for the starvation itself to stop completely for everyone. Within the system this act is an act of honesty, because there is a saying: ‘’you have to take care of your own first, because if you don’t no-one else will’’ This is half true, the only thing would be your starting point, is it principle based or self- interest based, are you acting from the principle perspective of what is best for all, or just what is best for me, and those close to me..??
· There is a monetary system that is built on debt, putting everyone in debt. Now you just go to work do what you have to do to survive within the system and you don’t question it, and you don’t expose it, because you know that there are consequences to be faced if you do so, so you don’t. You just carry on. Within this action taken you are being honest within the system abiding to the rules of the system, conforming to it when you know already what will happen if you don’t, and you know it is not fair, so you accept it and allow it to continue, just because of you fearing your ass being burnt, and as long as your ass is not burnt for the time being, you won’t ask questions, you won’t do nothing to stop this system that is abusive towards you and everyone else, it is only in the interest of a few people who are at the top and who are calling the shots. Within your honest work you’re doing you’re supporting in reality a system that is abusive to life. That does not honor life and is destroying life.
So self-honesty is always when one takes the correct action and the correct action taken is always within the principle of what is best for all, because what is best for all is best for me.
Honesty is always when one takes the action from a point of view of fitting in, compromising, conditioning, self-interest, to only what is best for self alone without the consideration of the rest, the rest is out of the equation. In other words the action is an action based on what the system dictates.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
Thursday 5 May 2011
another today.
I woke up early in the morning today because i had an apointment with my doctor to see what happened with my lower back.
As it turned out between the spaces of my spine on my lower back area, there seem to have been a tear in the gums between the bone points, and due to this it has swollen up and cause pressure on one of my nerves, and this is the reason that i am experiencing so much pain.
The doctor told me to take Diclofenac Na and try to sit straight and also walk straight, and should be staying at home for a week before going to work again., and when i do go back to work i should take it easy for the first 3 weeks.
Now let me go to the experience of sitting and waiting for my turn at the doctor practise.
My first thoughts of fears were:
What if i had a minor tear and this is the cuase of all this pain..and they need to inject me with big needles inbetween my spine bones..?
I started feeling a little uncomfortable, because i was certain that it must be a tear that happened, but where exactly and how i didn't know, this is going to cost me much more pain.
I hope the doctor is gentle and not a fucker who will put pressure on my lower back just to see where i am having pain, because i feel like that is unnecessary, because i can hardly bend over or twist aside or do any suden movements that when one is in good condition don't pay attention to, but when there is pain, the smallest things are sodifficult and painfull.
Now that my back is fucked up for now, i realize how difficult it must be for people who have this on a daily basis. simple walks are difficult,everything is a dread. Now sitting here writing is an affort but i must keep on moving and don't stand still otherwise it can get worse as the doctor says.
Self-forgiveness statements:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel and be fearfull because of me being and having fear of having more pain, especially related to pain caused by injection of a needle into my body, wherever that may be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that my doctor will put some pressure on the site where i am experoiencing pain and in so doing enlarge the feeling and experience of the pain.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never have taken into consideration those who have pain on whatever parts of their bodies, and in so doing make me a careless person, who didn't give a fuck, bnecause it wasn't me experiencing the pain anyhow.
Self corrective statements:
I take self-responsibilty into walking my consequences and in so doing eradicate fear within me and breath every time if this situation and other alike come to visit me again.
I ground myself here instead of going into my mind and believe/think of possible outcomes that when in the moment of the experience may not be as what i expected it to be. so i breathe, and stasy in the moments of being here.
I take my self-responsibility and consider myself and all in all situations, and especially the physical painfull ones, and in so doing become a real caring being, who gives a fuck and consider what others are going through.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
As it turned out between the spaces of my spine on my lower back area, there seem to have been a tear in the gums between the bone points, and due to this it has swollen up and cause pressure on one of my nerves, and this is the reason that i am experiencing so much pain.
The doctor told me to take Diclofenac Na and try to sit straight and also walk straight, and should be staying at home for a week before going to work again., and when i do go back to work i should take it easy for the first 3 weeks.
Now let me go to the experience of sitting and waiting for my turn at the doctor practise.
My first thoughts of fears were:
What if i had a minor tear and this is the cuase of all this pain..and they need to inject me with big needles inbetween my spine bones..?
I started feeling a little uncomfortable, because i was certain that it must be a tear that happened, but where exactly and how i didn't know, this is going to cost me much more pain.
I hope the doctor is gentle and not a fucker who will put pressure on my lower back just to see where i am having pain, because i feel like that is unnecessary, because i can hardly bend over or twist aside or do any suden movements that when one is in good condition don't pay attention to, but when there is pain, the smallest things are sodifficult and painfull.
Now that my back is fucked up for now, i realize how difficult it must be for people who have this on a daily basis. simple walks are difficult,everything is a dread. Now sitting here writing is an affort but i must keep on moving and don't stand still otherwise it can get worse as the doctor says.
Self-forgiveness statements:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel and be fearfull because of me being and having fear of having more pain, especially related to pain caused by injection of a needle into my body, wherever that may be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that my doctor will put some pressure on the site where i am experoiencing pain and in so doing enlarge the feeling and experience of the pain.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never have taken into consideration those who have pain on whatever parts of their bodies, and in so doing make me a careless person, who didn't give a fuck, bnecause it wasn't me experiencing the pain anyhow.
Self corrective statements:
I take self-responsibilty into walking my consequences and in so doing eradicate fear within me and breath every time if this situation and other alike come to visit me again.
I ground myself here instead of going into my mind and believe/think of possible outcomes that when in the moment of the experience may not be as what i expected it to be. so i breathe, and stasy in the moments of being here.
I take my self-responsibility and consider myself and all in all situations, and especially the physical painfull ones, and in so doing become a real caring being, who gives a fuck and consider what others are going through.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
Wednesday 4 May 2011
what a day..!!
Today is a very fucked up day, because yesterday i hurt my back, my lower back to be exact.
Now i got to work today, but after a while i could not bare the pain any longer so i told them that i will be going home. I made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow, so tomorrow is the day i am going to see what will happen to me afterwards.
I am angry and sad at the same time.
Let me explain the anger that is within me.
I am angry because i was working doing already some shitty work that i would not really wanted to do, but HAD to do it anyways, because there is just no other work for me.
And because i am working at this factory via an agency that has an agreement with the factory, it means for me and others that we will never get a steady job there. It is always a job for when there is high season. When more clients are asking for more products.
And now or for a long time already, because i am also having trouble with my insurance company who are insisting on me that i didn't pay them the whole year of 2007 till now. when in 2007 i was in this country till oktober,in October i went to live on my island and stayed there till November 2009. During all that time they didn't tell me nothing, i mean the time i was here in this country.
They are insisting on me to prove to them that i paid, and that is my problem that i have with them, because i know that i paid, but i was paying cash on the bank using something they call: ''acceptgiro'' over here.
What i told them was, that i also want them to tell me how it is possible that they did not contact me through all that time, especially when i was here in this country.Because insurance companies in those days if you didn't pay them for 3 months already, they will immediately stop your insurance. a/d you will have to get a other one and will have to pay them anyways afterwards. But you will not get away with it at all and sure not for a whole year as they are insisting that i didn't pay.
I told them that there could be two things:
* you guys are trying to get more money from those people who paid with ''acceptgiro'' because you are gambling on them, that just maybe they do not have the receits still on them, and if they don't you have the law on your side.
* you guys have someone commiting fraud in your company and is using the people who paid with ''acceptgiro'' as bates.
And i am still busy with these people,now i am going to have to write to a so-called commission that investigate these things. But the reason i didn't go to them first was because i know that all the insurance companies are the one's paying that commission, so if they are the one paying, my possiblity to win this case is almost zero.!! Because they are not going to go against the mouth that feeds them that easily.
So now that my back is fucked and i don't have a real steady job, it is temporary, and i have allot of financial shit happening at the same time, soon all this is going to get worse.
I am not affraid because i know that these things are things i created myself in the past and allot are also shit we created together in the past that we just have to go through mo matter what.
So here i am sitting with a fucked up back, and also with things to pay, that are going to start multiplying if i don't get better any day soon.
Self-forgivness statements:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry and sad because i hurt my back at work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself in a situation where i put myself down.
Selfr-corrective statements:
I realize that angriness and sadness are still in me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to let go of sadness and angriness, but instead have given them power to exist within me, making me believe/think that i am powerless.
I forgive myself for not accpeting and allowing myself to stand up within myself in situations where put myself down, instead of taking my self- responsibility and stand up within my own turmoils.
my self corrective applications regarding these points are:
I walk as me in self-responsiblity, and self-trust, and take self directive principle of my actions and none actions and in so doing impower myself to stand and walk my own process and to live self honesty within the confines of what is best for all.
I walk my process and face my own self created consequences, and take my self-responsiblity to stand up within my own turmoils.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
Now i got to work today, but after a while i could not bare the pain any longer so i told them that i will be going home. I made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow, so tomorrow is the day i am going to see what will happen to me afterwards.
I am angry and sad at the same time.
Let me explain the anger that is within me.
I am angry because i was working doing already some shitty work that i would not really wanted to do, but HAD to do it anyways, because there is just no other work for me.
And because i am working at this factory via an agency that has an agreement with the factory, it means for me and others that we will never get a steady job there. It is always a job for when there is high season. When more clients are asking for more products.
And now or for a long time already, because i am also having trouble with my insurance company who are insisting on me that i didn't pay them the whole year of 2007 till now. when in 2007 i was in this country till oktober,in October i went to live on my island and stayed there till November 2009. During all that time they didn't tell me nothing, i mean the time i was here in this country.
They are insisting on me to prove to them that i paid, and that is my problem that i have with them, because i know that i paid, but i was paying cash on the bank using something they call: ''acceptgiro'' over here.
What i told them was, that i also want them to tell me how it is possible that they did not contact me through all that time, especially when i was here in this country.Because insurance companies in those days if you didn't pay them for 3 months already, they will immediately stop your insurance. a/d you will have to get a other one and will have to pay them anyways afterwards. But you will not get away with it at all and sure not for a whole year as they are insisting that i didn't pay.
I told them that there could be two things:
* you guys are trying to get more money from those people who paid with ''acceptgiro'' because you are gambling on them, that just maybe they do not have the receits still on them, and if they don't you have the law on your side.
* you guys have someone commiting fraud in your company and is using the people who paid with ''acceptgiro'' as bates.
And i am still busy with these people,now i am going to have to write to a so-called commission that investigate these things. But the reason i didn't go to them first was because i know that all the insurance companies are the one's paying that commission, so if they are the one paying, my possiblity to win this case is almost zero.!! Because they are not going to go against the mouth that feeds them that easily.
So now that my back is fucked and i don't have a real steady job, it is temporary, and i have allot of financial shit happening at the same time, soon all this is going to get worse.
I am not affraid because i know that these things are things i created myself in the past and allot are also shit we created together in the past that we just have to go through mo matter what.
So here i am sitting with a fucked up back, and also with things to pay, that are going to start multiplying if i don't get better any day soon.
Self-forgivness statements:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry and sad because i hurt my back at work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself in a situation where i put myself down.
Selfr-corrective statements:
I realize that angriness and sadness are still in me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to let go of sadness and angriness, but instead have given them power to exist within me, making me believe/think that i am powerless.
I forgive myself for not accpeting and allowing myself to stand up within myself in situations where put myself down, instead of taking my self- responsibility and stand up within my own turmoils.
my self corrective applications regarding these points are:
I walk as me in self-responsiblity, and self-trust, and take self directive principle of my actions and none actions and in so doing impower myself to stand and walk my own process and to live self honesty within the confines of what is best for all.
I walk my process and face my own self created consequences, and take my self-responsiblity to stand up within my own turmoils.
Thanks.
Larry Manuela
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