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Saturday, 19 February 2011

self-forgiveness process

When i was walking today,in front of me were walking 3 girls and i could see their skin coming out. And i was had the thought of waaw their skin looks fabulous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought: '' waaw their skin looks fabulous.'' to exist within me and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to- through participation in the thought: ''waaw their skin looks fabulous.'' become aroused.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself-created arousal in participation of the thought: ''waaw their skin looks fabulous.'' towards the 3 girls, using their skin-looks for the experience of arousal within myself that i actually self-created.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect arousal within me as to me having the thought: ''waaw their skin looks fabulous.''
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing arousal to exist as a trigger-point which triggers the thought: ''waaw their skin looks fabulous.''
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want sex to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought:''waaw their skin looks fabulous to an emotional experience of disappointment and fear of not getting sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in an emotional experience of disappointment and fear of not getting sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of  disappointment and fear of not getting sex, because i realize that i am practically able at the moment to manifest an experience of me getting sex to satisfied my desire for orgasm.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because i realize that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve the problem of me not getting sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because i don't want to face my reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a quick solution to simply  make everything better and solve the problem of me not getting sex, because i don't want to face my current reality.
I foirgive myself  for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to face my current reality but instead want to escape within my thoughts and emotions where i don't have to take self-responsibility.



o.k. bye bye...



Larry Manuela

Sunday, 6 February 2011

just 2 thoughts

Hi everyone.

Now i am going to write in another manner today and starting as of now as being more specific in my writing to direct myself to see me in my writing and to see the points that are linked to each other within my writings.

I had the thought at work, and it was as follows;

I don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that my, ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.

Now i am going to do self-forgiveness on this thought immediately.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought:'' i don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that, my ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.'' to exist within me and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to- through participation within the thought:'' i don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that, my ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.'' become angry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself-created anger in participation of the thought::'' i don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that, my ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.'' towards my ex-girlfriend, blaming my ex-girlfriend for the experience of anger within myself that i actually self-created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect boredom within me as to me having the thought:'' i don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that, my ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.''

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing boredom to exist as a trigger point within me,which triggers the thought:'' i don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that, my ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.''

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want money to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought:'' i don't have the sufficient amount of money to take care of my children, and on top of all that, my ex. goes and does things that can make things even much more difficult then it already is, for herself, the children and me.'' to an emotional experience of disappointment, and fear of not having enough.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in an emotional experience of disappointment and fear of not having enough.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of disappointment and fear of not having enough because i realize that i am not practically able at the moment to manifest the money that is required for me to survive and take care of my children as i am willing to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because i realize that that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve the problem of not having enough money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because i don't want to face my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a quick solution to simply make everything better and solve the problem of me not having enough money because i don't want to face my current reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to face my current reality, but instead want to escape within my thoughts and emotions of boredom where i don't have to take self-responsibility.


another thought manifestation:

'' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.''

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought:'' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.'' to exist within me and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through participation within the thought: '' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.'' become afraid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself - created fear in participation of the thought:'' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.'' towards myself, blaming myself for the experience of fear within myself that i actually self-created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect abuse within me as to me having the thought:'' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.''

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing abuse to exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought:'' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.''

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want not to eat meat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want not to eat meat to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought:'' if i eat meat i see and experience my excretion to be harder, then when i do not eat meat.'' to an emotional experience of resentment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in an emotional experience of resentment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of resentment, because i realized that i am not practically at the moment able to manifest a reality where meat cannot be eaten and does not have to be eaten for me to live.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be resentful, because i realize that there is no quick solution to the problem of killing another living being in order for another to live here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be resentful, because i don't want to face my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want a quick solution to simply make everything better and solve the problem of killing another to survive, because i don't want to face my current reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to face my current reality, but instead want to escape within just maybe stop eating meat, thinking and believing that this will solve the problem of killing another in order to survive.

O.k.that was it for now....

Bye bye...



Larry Manuela

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

30 and 31 of January.

Now these two days i cannot remember very well the specific thoughts i have had. But i do know that i have been in a lot of thinking and judging from my perspective regarding some people at my work.

There is this new girl at work and every man wants to be near her, just because she looks great, and she is a nice lady.
I was telling her, as we were working together that she must notice how all the man that are here are being nice and wanting to help you etc etc, but they just want your attention that is why they are all behaving like they do. Trying their best to be funny, while they are not funny at all.

I have also noticed that when some of the guys were talking about they not liking people who are quiet i reacted inside myself on this thing, and i also reacted on their comments, because, the truth is that i am quiet but not shy.And they think that i am shy to, but i am not and a reacted upon that,and especially when they brought the topic of quiet people being boring, i just wanted to comment on that but i did not because i already saw that it wasn't necessary any longer for me to react on that one, what i wanted to say was:'' that the world where we live in here is very boring, because we are doing the same boring things over and over again and again and don't even noticed when we are being such boring peoples.'' Everything we do is boring because we have done it already, especially those things that people consider to be entertaining. you all know; parties, holidays, free of work for a few days, going shopping, watching movies, go to church, all the sports and you name it, all of those things are boring, because all we already did them, only the scenario changes a little, but e.g. going to a party this weekend to have a good time, when you do it  all the weekends, it is still you just going to the parties all weekends, even though the parties that you may present yourself at could be different and the people attending also being different, but the main subject is: ''party.''

All these two days i have masturbated again, after trying not to do that for a while.
I need to be more focused on my breath during the times when i feel like i am ready to hold my dick in my hands again. to me this is my key point that i have to embrace and then transcend.


Now up for forgiveness.

1) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and judge some people at work.
2) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into my mind and see the girl at work from the perspective of my mind instead of seeing her here in breath.
3) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react upon the comments done in my direction  putting myself in a position where i thought i had to defend ,myself.
4) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not in the moment of saying what i needed to say, and let the moment pass without me saying what i needed to say.
5) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to masturbate again making myself time-loop again.



I am here i am in the moment as the moment as breath right here always.






Larry Manuela

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Blogging for sponsorship Larry Manuela

 Hello Everyone,

Let me start with introducing myself first.

My name is Larry Alexander Manuela, and I was born on the island of  Bonaire in the Caribbean and the year was 1972.

I have been searching all my life so to speak, because I am only 38 years now, but I have been searching to understand why it is things are not the way we talk and wish things to be, with this I mean, why things are not ''good'' as we all want it to be. We see the wrong things in the world but some of us are all talking about wanting change and you name it, but the actuality of the change never comes and we are not really doing enough and what is practically necessary to bring the actual living change for all, so we don't keep on repeating endlessly, needlessly and purposelessly the same experiences over and over again and again.

Throughout my searches and for a couple of months now I have come to meet some people who are really serious about bringing this change that we are all dreaming about in a practical manner, and one that is best for all living things on the planet.

But in order for this all to happen, for each one of us to be more effective in being active participants and re-educate ourselves in such a way so we can later on in time assist and support others when their time of being  self-honest arrives after they have fallen into the current system, something that eventually is doomed to happen, no-matter who you are and what your status, your positioning on the planet, your language, your belief, your culture, it all doesn't matter, the time where one brakes will come and this for each individual being. I know that what I am expressing here is a little bit difficult to understand, and very difficult for those who are clinched to their believes, whatever that might be.

Now due to my financial situation in my placement here on the planet right now, is it very difficult for me to pay the necessary courses that I need to re-educate myself in order to be more effective. As it is at the moment i am working but it is of a contract of 3 months only, and i do not know what is going to happen after those 3 months. I have no financial security as it is right now in order for me to do what it necesary to be done, in order to learn, to re-educate myself in order to later on be more effective in this world system as it is.

The reason I am writing to you, whomever you may be, is to ask you to be my sponsor.

Before you think that it is more based on asking for money specifically, I  must say that this is not the case. It is me being very serious about this task that is the highest form of compassion one can achieve or live in the face of what is needed for us all to live a decent life here on this planet without causing harm and abuse, on all levels of our participation here on the planet.

The course I am participating in is a course that will take one year to complete and the costs for this course is € 1200,-

the name of the course is called ITD( introduction to desteni)

Now let me explain who these people are before you go and have any assumption on who they are, because once again these are not the people who are playing games when it comes to being serious about the practical change that is necessary to be lived In order for change to really happen.

These group of people are the only people I know who are really doing everything possible for us all to have a decent life here on this planet while we are here and so when we leave this planet we don't leave a mess for our children behind, and not only that, leave them in ignorance and incapable of being creative in any ways to change the mess that they will be in, due to our poor responsibility towards all that is of life right here.

And here I put the link of the website of these people whom I am following so you can have a more amplified view of who they are and what exactly they are doing and also how, and why, all the question that you may have.

 This is the website: www.desteni.co.za

I cannot stress this enough, to please not to judge what you will hear and read on the website, because you cannot just have a quick glance on some information and think that you know enough to judge them and discard what they are saying and especially what they are standing for with every breath of there being, in every moment that they are here.

I know that you may ask: '' but why if they want to help, support, and assist, are they asking their followers for money..??''

It is very simple........in the current situation of this world, money has become the number one tool that is being used for movement to happen, and they are just using that tool in order for them to implement their ideals and more, their solution into the world in a few years, and the money you sponsor would not be used to in-rich them, but more so to build a system where soon more and more people who will be coming in for re-education and can't afford all of that, then the money would be used to assist and support them. The more of us participate the more we can assist and support each other especially in these daring circumstances that are already here and will become worse and worse.

Through this blog, I am asking you to consider my request and not to judge me and think that I am asking a sponsorship for stupid things, because I am really serious about this and will not misuse the money sponsored in anyway whatsoever.

If you decide to sponsor me, can you please be anonymous about this.

The reason I say this is because I also want to know if you are a person who are serious and are not sponsoring only because you yourself want to make some money back out of it.
In the initial stages this would not be possible due to this organization being one that is not into making profit. One more time the money that you sponsor is only being used In order to create an equal money
system later in the future, the only system that would initially bring everyone in a position where they can focus on working on themselves without any stress of not having money to take care of themselves like it is right now in the world.

If you are serious about sponsoring someone who is very serious about learning and changing himself in such a way where he could assist and support others in the near future in being honorable human beings and compassionate human beings, please do so, this is not a joke.


I am thanking you in advanced for your sponsorship and hope you can see the truth in all this and the importance of this all.


Sincerely yours.....,



Larry Alexander Manuela