Family affairs.

I have been talking to my family for a while now about what it is i am doing,in relation to my process of birthing myself in life.

I have two sisters, one older than me and another one younger, i am in the middle ....lol

My older sister went a while ago to live with my parents, to support and assist them now that they are growing older and are having some old-age issues.
My younger sister is here in this country having her own life with her husband and 2 children.
The older sister have one child who is right now in his teenage years.

Now i have noticed and for a while already, that every time i talk to them, they put aside so to speak what i have to say, because they see it as a point of believe, it is what i believe. Now understand that i have and i am still doing it, try to explain to them in all kinds of ways, what it is i am doing, i even wrote a whole blog for them, explaining how i am doing what i am doing, about the self-forgiveness and common-sense, corrective application,breathing, writing and self-honesty in my native language so they can know, and not only for them but also for these people on these islands who are speaking this language and that may have some difficulty understanding English. My older sister is the one, let's say who i am talking more about it with. Because she is the one that is now and then on MSN and when i call them, i talk to my mother also about it, and about what is going on in this world and how it is we cannot blame others, and that in order for things to change, we must let go from our ways we are living now, and live another way, a way where we do NOT abuse each other nor any other part of life.

My mother see this as being proud that i am doing this, but they don't want to take self-responsibility. Now i am not trying to push it in their faces, i am just trying to wake them up. And believe me, i know it is difficult, especially for the old people who have come to believe some believes they have, it is like they want to take that believe with/as them to the grave. These are the words my mother uses all the time, but she doesn't say it directly to me, she is telling me how she is saying this to religious people who come by the door and are trying to convince her to join their religion. And she is telling them:'' I am a Catholic and i am going to die one, no-one is going to come and try and change my believe, i believe just like you, that there is only one god so i don't see the reason why i should join your religion if we are all serving one god anyways..??''

In my mother's perspective, in her believe she is right about that one thing, i mean why compete if there was only one god, it's so stupid.
But when i say to my mother, just look at the world, can you honestly tell me that this god you believe in exists..?? And even to go as far as believing to,that this god is a benevolence god, a god of LOVE.
Because i know that my mother reads the Bible, i use some example out of the Bible to try and maybe there will be something that she will see within the words i use. And i keep on saying to my mother; 'mother, this is not a believe to me, it is common sense, i just look at what is here and apply myself in a best possible way, to change myself, because i have already realized, that for this world to change every individual MUST go through this change other wise we are not going to change and we are going to destroy each other, on all those things we disagree with each other about right now and ever. I explain to them that the group of people i am with and part of, is a group of individuals who have come together to stand for life, to be an example for those who are still waiting, who are still postponing, who are still looking for excuses for them NOT to change, they don't want to change. And i am telling her, all i can do for you mother now is showing you, through my own process how you to can change yourself, because if i can do it, so can everyone, and i even tell her that understand, that i am not alone, is not like, it is only me, all the members in our group are seeing and are going through their own particular changes and they are all dealing with their own particular challenges they have created in the past themselves.

Talking to my mother makes me worry sometimes, because i know they're growing older with each passing day, and it is like i am letting them down, the responsibility to support and assist them, and this point is so difficult, because of their point of resistance, which is: '' it is your believe''  when i have no believes at all. It is what they use as weapon to spite me. But they are spiting themselves within this mind delusion. I am telling my older sister to,that she must understand that i am not trying to convince them of anything or try to force them to do anything, all i am trying to do is to show them that only through self-forgiveness you can start changing yourself, but no matter what i say,they don't even bother try it. Within all this a little bit of sadness ensues in me sometimes, because when i talk about the things that do make allot of sense to them, using common sense they understand it completely, no problem, but when it comes to apply it, it becomes immediately a problem, they immediately have an excuse for them not to be self-responsible, they don't want to take their responsibility as participants in this world as many others. I see that my mother and father have already gave-up on life and are just there waiting for death to come to them and that will be it.

I explained to them that anyone who dies right now, will not exist anymore, will be just a presence of what used to be the personality in the mind, and a very very little of a presence, of what used to be the conglomeration of personalities, but a presence is not real, it's like a shadow of a light that was not even real. You will not exist anymore, that is why it is important to do your self-forgiveness and live your life that you have left in self-forgiveness and applying yourself. But this to as you already know they will see it of course as something i believe in, it is within my believe that when they die they are going to be none-existent. And how do i know this without having to experience it first hand, by just seeing how in one breath i can stop my mind and have no thoughts and no feelings and emotions, the personality is gone, but yet i am still HERE, and this is so now that i am in this body, but when there is no more body i will have a problem, because that which i believe i am and which is the personality that is of the mind as the mind, will not have a host, it will just STOP existing. Because it is within the body that the mind exists, and is very easy to see if you are focusing on your breath. Because if it was real, i would not be able to stop it of functioning. But when i do stop it my body continues like normal, like being here as the body, no problem and i can do the things i have to do without any problem. I can function within this world without the mind thinking for me, without it generating emotions and feelings. At the moment i am not consistent and constant in my focusing and being one and equal with my breath, all my breaths, so focus that i don't miss even ONE, that i will be just here as the body as the breath of life one and equal. I have seen for myself already and all the people in the group know this and have experienced this already, that it is a fact. That when one becomes one and equal with one's breath one in focusing on the breath as the breath,it stops the mind of running, it's like the mind can't function, and even when a thought or feeling or emotion do come up, you can see it coming and you can stop it, by saying: ''stop'' and by focusing on your breathing and forgiving yourself that you have accepted and allowed the thought/emotion/feeling.

I will not give-up on my family, i will continue bombarding them with common sense facts they can't deny, and maybe one day they can see and realize to, that in order for things to change in their lives and the lives of all humanity, each part of humanity must change and live this change, otherwise it is going to be only a few changing and will not affect and bring about real change that is best for all in this world.



Thanks.


Larry Manuela