another day at work.

Today i had to start working on another department within the company and as i was approaching the work floor,the lady that is in charge was talking to one of the supervisors that is in charge of the shift i am working in and she was talking to him and it looked like they were having some trouble, because the bags apparently were all bad and they are going to have to make some new one's.

And i was there standing like a few meters away from them and i heard her saying to the supervisor: ''and that..??'' And she nodded in my direction, she was talking about where she is going to put me to work but refer to me as ''that''.

the moment she said that,m the supervisor looked at me with a expression of shame in his face, but me at this moment wanted to just walked up to her and ask her why she refer to as ''that''......what does she mean by that. But it all happened to fast and they were a little to far away from me i order for me to walk up to her and ask her in front of everyone why she  refer to me as ''that''...??

I already know why, because just because they have a little saying in their jobs, and they can influence it in some way or another that someone like me can be sent home fast, they abuse and treat and talk to you sometimes like you are less then them.

Here i considered myself that i have failed,m because i should have walked up to her no-matter what, even if it was to late to react, but i still should have walked to her and say what i needed to say or ask what i needed to ask. But at least now i know based on this one incident who she is, that she is not really the person who appears to be, someone who is saying; hallo to people and sometimes helping people. Now i know all of that is just for the EGO, to feel important.

I sometimes ask myself are they not blind to see that if something should happen to the company that everyone that works there is going to go home...??  It won't matter if one is the toilet cleaner or the manager.

I did got a little angry for a second, but then i remember to just breathe. And as soon as i  focused on  my breathing it was all gone.


Self-forgiveness statements:


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let others as me to talk or refer to me as ''that'' as if i am nothing or i am as less valuable then they are.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself not standing up to her, because of me then going to have to watch my back in relation to my work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to even fear getting out of work/having no job again.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let myself be abused in that matter, just because of what might, maybe could happened.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider that i have failed because i did not stand up for what was an abusive situation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge her and thinking that she is just being egoistic and wanted to present a face of someone who is important.








Thanks.










Larry Manuela