Well today was a normal quiet day as usual and i can remember that i have a thought running in my head that is making me a little uncomfortable, because i still have not receive my money and it the due day to pay desteni is approaching and i still haven't got the money to pay for the next month which is going to be February.
I have been walking with this thought for a while every now and then it pups-up in my mind, because i was thinking because this money is a little extra i can pay at least 2 months from it, but now i hope that i can get it on Wednesday so i can make the payment fast.
Later on in the evening i was chatting with my girlfriend and we were talking about sex and stuff and as i was talking to her about sex i came to the idea that this would be a nice topic to make a video of, so i did.
Before i made the video i talked to myself in the mirror a lot about this subject and act as if i am speaking in front of the camera and acting out what i was going to say and in which manner.
Initially i made a video of 24 minutes, but it was to long so i had to remove it and made another one.
I felt comfortable when i was talking in front of the camera and eventually what i talked about did not come about as i was playing it out in front of the mirror.
After i have done it felt good that i did so, even though i wanted to say more things, but i will leave it so for now.
up to the self-forgiveness applications.
1) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have fear within me, because my due day to make my next payment is almost there and i still have not receive my money as i was suppose to, and also for ''hoping'' that it will arrive on time for me to do my payment.
2) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk to myself in front of the mirror playing out, how it is i was going to to talk about the subject of sex on video.
3) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be wanting more things to add to my video and also for feeling good about the video when it was done.
Self corrective statements.
I am not fear and also not hope, these are consciousness systems manifestations.
I am not my thoughts running around in my mind, and i am not my mind.
I am not wanting or of wanting, neither am i my feelings.
O.k. that was what happened most of my day that day that i could remember.
Bye bye........
Larry Manuela
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