My day started ''normal'' as all of my days usually start as it is within the unfolding of my life as it is right now, in the current moment,where i am out of work at the moment, which is very boring.
I got up and decided that it would be nice to shave my head this day and so i did.
As i was shaving my head i was thinking after looking in the mirror that maybe it would be better if i would use the trimmer in another position i could get my head even more shaved, i mean get more hair shaved of my head.
i also noticed that i look good with my head shaved, that is at least what i find....lol
throughout the day i was watching the videos on the desteni website and re-read some of the informations, especially the information that seem to strike me the most or are very much touch me in some way or another.
Later on my friend called me and ask me if i wanted to come over and stay with her for a while, which i said yes to of course, because i really don't had anything to do anyways, and a day or two out and to investigate and test my breathing technique would not be a bad idea at all.
I went there and we eat and we talked and also watched some television and as we were eating we were talking about a lot of stuff, and i was observing my own breathing and see if any thought or judgement would come up within me about myself and about her and the things she was talking about.
I could see that when she asked if i would like to eat some more and i respond with a; ''no'' and she said: ' o.k. then i will put it aside for you tomorrow so you can eat it.' Now the way she said it was nothing wrong with it, but she thought all by herself that she was a little to demanding, and she told me that she was sorry because of the way she told talked to me about the leftover food. But i didn't feel anything at all, only when she said that she was sorry did i feel a little sorry, but not for myself but for her, because i found that there was nothing to be sorry for,because she just told me something and it wasn't rude or whatever, she just asked me a normal question, but she thought she asked it in a rude way, but she didn't and i told her also that she was not rude at all so i don't see why she should be saying sorry, for that.
Then we were done eating i helped here in the kitchen cleaning up the the stuff, then we went to sit and watch some television, but it is her mostly watching television and me watching or reading my stuff on the desteni website. I usually when i am there at her house i don't go into the material that deep, because i find that not to be nice, because she is asking me to come and keep her company for a while and i am there on my laptop reading or listening to my stuff, i don't find this a nice thing to do, so i listen for a while and read some articles but after a while i give her some attention.
After a while she got tired of watching television and she told me that she was going to bed and she asked me if i am going to stay up or am i going to go to bed to, and i said; 'yes' because one more time it would not be nice to be in someone's house where they invited you and stay up all night and kind of like be there but yet not really there because your on your laptop all the time......lol
So we went to sleep and we were talking than on the bed about a lot of things and i was telling her about hte ITD course and a little bit about the second lesson i received and stuff.
I told her that in this second lesson they have a put a picture of the Atlanteans, how they looked like when they existed and i also was telling her that they were dimensional being and they never manifested with the planet itself as the planet was getting more and more 3D.
But she could not understand this, because she doesn't know about the Atlanteans, she never heard from them so............but i told her a little bit about the assumptions about the Atlanteans we have in our known histories, but what is known of them is very little and there is even some whom believe that maybe they didn't even existed, that it was just a crazy believe some people had in the past.
Eventually she kissed me goodnight and she went to sleep, and i was before i went to sleep only busy in my mind trying to see how it is i am going to put all these things later on in writing.
Then eventually i did go to sleep and in the morning she greeted me with a rub on my dick and she was telling me that she just wanted to see if the little guy was awake, and of course he was......lol
So she decided to give me a blow job, which i did not say;'no' to of course.
As all this was happening i was concentrating on my breath, because i wanted to test out how it would be when i am at one with my breath when having sex, so she was sucking my dick and after a while she decided to climb over me so i can do a little pussy eating ,myself, so i again would not say; 'no' of course.....lol
that continued for a while and it came to pass that i turned her over and continue eating her pussy till she was completely satisfied and once and a while when she was in her state of deep enjoyment she would suck a little on my dick, which i would not mind of course. So i continue till she was very much wet and i started also pushing my fingers into her pussy rubbing her a little inside to.
After she had enough and could not take it anymore she turned aside and give me with the indication of her body language that she wanted me to penetrate her now, which i did of course, but while all this was going on i was concentrating on my breathing and more and more into the sexual experience i started feeling just nothing and my dick started to feel like it was being cut, kind of like little cuts on the head of the dick something like that, and it felt like it was burning a little because of these little cuts. but i continue trusting myself into her till i just stopped because i could see that she was already satisfied and the need for me to continue was not necessary. so i just stopped. and when i stopped she asked me if i had come...and i said: ''no, i haven't.'' She than asked me why...?? She told me that most man, have to come in order to really be satisfied and i respond with a: ''no''
After that we got out of bed, took a bath and made some breakfast and sat down and ate.
I wanted to look for some information regarding ''fat'' on the desteni website, because she is having some difficulty getting fat and her cholesterol is a little bit high and also her sugar is a little high and she is a little worried about that. And i was telling her about a video that someone did on the desteni website where i think it was Sunette who was explaining why fat accumulate around certain body parts and areas, but i couldn't find the video or the article where that specific information was placed. I promised her that i will look for it and after i have got it i will give her the information on it.
Later in the evening a couple of hours before i came back home we sat and eat the succulent dinner she prepared and as always when i am about to eat i always thank my food that i am about to eat, that i am grateful for me supporting me as the food i am eating and the drink that i am drinking for supporting me in this world in this moment and for nourishing my human physical body, as Lilly suggested in one of her videos she has done about vegetarian.
Then after dinner i helped her clean the kitchen again and we went to sit and watched television for a while and we talked some little about the news that was on the television and it was about he guy that shut some people in the united states and she was talking about how people are getting crazier by the day each day, and i was thinking by myself of course; '' they were always crazy, you mean...''
Eventually i told her that i have to head on home now because i have my writing to do and i prefer to do it at home because there i don't feel like i have to consider me being in your home and stuff i can just write without having to take someone's feelings and emotions into consideration and this way i am more free to, to write on my own pace.
And for the sake of this blog i must say that she is just a friend of mine,she is not a girl-friend or anything like that of me, we used to date but not anymore, and now and then when she wanted i go by her and we spent some time together, and sometimes we have sex and sometimes we don't. i told her that i was going into my process, and that in order for me to be ,more effective it would be difficult for us to be with each other, because i will change and she is not yet in a position to take this road, so what can i do....??
But soon as for from today i am going to tell her that sex is also going to be out of the question, because i will be deluding myself and have sex based on desire and that is unacceptable in my process.
So here i am now writing my stuff and now that i am about to finish i am going to go to see where i have to apply my self-forgiveness on the points that i wrote right here right now.
My self-forgiveness application on this blog:
1) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeing myself and experiencing myself for being out of work as something that is of boredom.
2) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeing myself in the mirror and also for seeing me with a bold head as definable as ''good looking'' with my head shaved.
3) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for my friend when she thought that she was being rude to me about the saving of some food for me to eat the day after.
4) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself into a situation where i have to compromise myself to please some other people when i know i have to be concentrated on my tasks.
5) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be nice just because i am in the company of some other people's houses, because i am thinking that they may find me having bad manners, to come to their homes and act as if it is my home and not only that but also for doing my things and giving them very little attention.
6) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall into temptation even when i was using my breath in order for me to have sex, because it was still me desiring to have sex and feel a wet pussy.
7) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about myself writing on my blog and not necessarily knowing anyways what the heck i was going to ile i was write about anyways.
8) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue hurting my body, in this case my dick a body part of mine when i was experiencing pain that was like little cuts on my dick and also that it felt like a burning sensation.
9) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the information on the television and saying: ''they were always crazy you mean''
10) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in believing that only at home would be a comfortable place for me to write, which is not entirely true.
Thank you very much and i am open for all your comments.
bye bye.......................
Larry Manuela
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