Well i found out today the 26th that the girl whom i like at work and who also likes me, was not gone, maybe she just had a day off or something in that manner.
This day someone new came in at work and it is someone i do know, and we talked a little about what is going on in this world but he does not seem to get the message. It is like most people who have done some type of higher learning and then because of that they think and believe that they know better than someone else because they are educated, but they don't seem to ask the right questions and even if they do it is about them in relation to what is best for them, not in relation to what is best for all.
I have noticed that it is a waste of time trying to wake people up from their dream within an illusion., because they seem to deep into it, that they just don't see it. If someone is saying that our laws are good laws on themselves, but it is the people who are not making proper use of them in practice, is another story. then we can already know that this person is either ignorant or he doesn't care at all as long as what he has coming for him is best for him, as long as his survival is taken care of by the system he is participating in. If his needs are being taken for there is no problem with the system, no need to question the system, because everything is alright, but alright with them alone in their world and in their placement on the planet.
On the 27th we continue talking some more on the subjects and i can still see that he is not going to consider all, he doesn't see it, and i told him that the system is going to fall and that there is nothing we can do it, the only thing we can do is to stand together and create a new system but one that is best for all. he told me that he is not seeing the system fall because the system is picking up, things are getting better, and the system can have some downfalls, but it is not going to not exist.It will always be like this. I told him...o.k. write this down what you said today, because i think you will live to see when the system falls. And it is not going to happen in one blow, it is happening in a process, that eventually will end up as system death.
I talked to another girlfriend of mine who i used to sleep with, and today she told me that she have something to tell me, because the thing has been bothering her for some time now and she has to tell me.
She told me that she want to know from me what i want, and that she knows already that we don't have nothing more together but that doesn't take the fact that she have feelings for me. she asked me if we are going to continue having sex and i told her it is better for us not to do that, and she also told me that why it is that she is always the one who is always asking me to come over by her house and not me coming of my own...?? On this question i did not give her an answer yet because she was already satisfied with the answer i gave her of us not having sexual intercourse anymore. But the reason i did not want to go to her on my own was because i already could see that if i do that she will become more attached to me and i do not want that for her neither for me, and it will put me in a situation of me abusing her just to get sex out of her, or using her just because i know she likes me a lot, and allowing and accepting her to compromise herself just because she likes me.
Now to the self-forgiveness applications.
1) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge a friend of mine on what it is that he is thinking and believing that is right and good in this world.
2) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within discussions with people knowing already from the start that they will not listen because they will see what i have to say as extreme.
3) i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and allowed myself to put myself and a girlfriend of mine into a situation where we can manipulate each other for sex and for relationship.
I am here, i am life, i am here to be as equal as life as me as all.
Larry Manuela
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